Tracy Talks

The Calm before the Storm

Well believe it or not - Surgery is TOMORROW! I can't believe its already here! I know I've mentioned being nervous and scared, excited etc.  Today, I'm completely calm.  I've been calm all day.  I did run around like a chicken with my head cut off a little earlier today, but just because I was trying to fit about 5 errands into my lunch hour (failed miserably at that) - OH! I got the errands done, it just took a lot longer than an hour!

I went to the grocery after work, came home, made sure Dakota had some dinner, then went shopping... after all it was "associate day" at Bath & Body Works, so why wouldn't I go ? I suppose I must be somewhat nervous, because (and girls you'll be able to relate to this) - you know how you have a big date coming up, your prom, your wedding, the first time you've seen someone you care about in a really long time, then BAM! You break out like a teenager! - Well that happened to me this weekend, I guess that must mean I'm nervous, that and the fact I havent been able to stop shivering all day, I guess those are both signs of being nervous.  Overall though, I really feel calm and at peace.  I suppose this is probably the calm before the storm, isnt it?

I have also fielded calls and / or emails  from nearly every person I know between  yesterday and today.  OK maybe not that many, but many people have called to wish me well. I cant tell you what that means to me.  To have the group of people I have in my life who are so caring, supportive and loving is the most amazing gift.  I feel absolutely blessed to have you all in my life.  Its really hard to put into words without getting all sappy and stuff, but know that I love each and every one of you, your kind words, thought, support, excitement and prayers are what gets me through this.

With surgery being tomorrow at noon, I will be offline for a few days while I'm in the hospital, but feel free to leave your comments below.  Also, if you want to subscribe to get updates just click on the "Subscribe to this blogs feed" link to the right.  I will be blogging once I"m back home and atleast semi coherent.

Wish me luck! :)

4 more ..... "sleeps" (?)

Thats what my Mom and Dad would say if they were counting down the time til surgery.  When we were little and we had a big event coming up, my parents would help us keep track of "how much longer" by telling us how many more "sleeps" we had before the big event.

As of this morning -  4 more sleeps!  Here's my question, can you really call it sleep when sleep isn't what you are really doing?  I have found that each  night this week "bedtime" has come later and later.  Last night I found myself up at 2:00 am wide awake doing things around the house.  I thought to myself, Gee Trace, think you oughta go to bed sometime soon? The answer was a resounding NO, couldn't sleep if I did so whats the point?

Yes thats right, I'm now talking to myself in the middle of the night, answering myself and sharing it with the world.  I can hear the collective "I knew she was nuts!" from around the country now!

So, what did I find myself doing at 2:00 am that was keeping me wide awake? Certainly, there was nothing on TV!  I have these baskets around my house, nice baskets with liners that somehow have become "change baskets".  I decided late last night that it was time to roll the change in these baskets!  So - after hours of sorting and rolling coins. I am taking $109.50 in change to the bank today :) 

I'm sort of running out of things to do in the middle of the night when I cant sleep, anyone have any ideas? 

Wish me luck tonight - I will have 5 12 year old boys at my house from 6 pm - til 11 am tomorrow!  What am I , a glutton for punishment?

Since you asked...

Well since you all are asking if there is anything you can do for me.... I thought of something!  (which is a miracle in and of itself, that I was able to think at all)... See, my mind is a little pre-occupied (can't figure out WHY?)... and I'm leaving out important details when I think of things...

For example... in an effort to give my son the birthday party he wanted and deserved, I agreed to throw a party for him and his friends prior to surgery, even though his birthday isn't for 2 more weeks.  The party is all set for this Friday.  We have invited 5 boys over to go to the movies and then spend the night.  Did you catch that I said we invited FIVE boys over to GO to the movies.. That makes me and 6 boys at the movies...one small problem... I drive a Honda Accord - it only seats FIVE.... DUH! How the heck did I think I was going to transport these kids to the movie??????????  SO... I had to come up with a different plan, which I think I've done successfully :)  We are not going to the movies after all, but are having a PS2 tournament and a "Digital" Scavenger Hunt.  I think the kids will still have fun, but seriously, WHAT was I thinking?

So  here is what you can do for me.  Next time you hear me come up with a "great idea", help me think it through... chances are I forgot, oh a small detail or two!  :)

SIX DAYS FROM TODAY :)

7 days and counting.....

OMG! I cannot believe surgery is 7 days away!! (Heck may as well call it 6 now, its almost 10pm).... As surgery gets closer, I'm noticing that the diet is getting easier, people around me are starting to get excited (and nervous and scared) for me.  I am hearing from people I haven't heard from in years and some who I talk to regularly are calling more often.  Its so great to hear from everyone and see everyone!

For instance - just today -

• I had lunch with a dear friend, who I haven't seen in years! It truly made my day to spend time with her and catch up on whats going on with her.  I really hope we stay in touch this time :)
• Another friend of mine was talking to me about the surgery and I mentioned it was only 7 days away, she said her stomach got weary just for being nervous for me
• A co-worker had thought the surgery was on Dec 5th instead of the 4th and when I corrected her, she was all flustered, "she thought she had another day to get ready"!!
• One of my closest friends from out of state called to "check on me" and see how I was holding up
• Another of my close friends from here called to make sure I had everything I needed and offered to help with Dakota however she could.
• A childhood friend commented on the blog, even left a pizza suggestion :) - I think she is due to have a baby about the same time I'm having my surgery - I cant believe with all she has going on she took time to read through this!
• I even found someone through the Barix website who is having surgery the same day as me and we have been exchanging emails.  Comparing notes, etc.

I gotta tell you - I have the best group of people around me and around the country supporting me!!!!  THANK YOU - ALL OF YOU!!! You mean the world to me and I truly couldn't do this without all of you!!!! 

OH! 2 quick footnotes

• I got a call today from HR , they have received my short term disability paperwork from the Dr and I'm all set up and approved :)
• I GOT MY CAR BACK TODAY!!!! WOO HOO!!!! Its like brand new!

The diet...

Well, so far the diet is going pretty good.  I've been told by a couple people they think I've already lost some weight - woohoo!  I was definitely put to the test this weekend.  I ended up eating out every day over the weekend, but I did good!  Stayed with the plan and did my exercises too.  As surgery day gets closer I have more and more people talking to me about it asking if I'm sure I want to do this.  I really really do.  Now, I wont lie, I'm nervous as hell about it - but I'm also excited as all get out for the end result.  Good thing I'm not one of those instant gratification people, huh?  This is going to be a long road to hoe and its not going to be easy and not going to be painless either.  I think that what I'm most worried about is that week right after surgery, I kinda hate pain, actually I'm sort of a wimp when it comes to pain... so I'm a little worried about that part. However, I've been told after about a week or 10 days it gets a lot better - so if I can just stay focused on "this pain is temporary, this to shall pass" I will be fine.

I started wearing a pedometer this weekend.  The first day I walked 4767 steps... each day I try to increase - today I'm up to 8694!!!  I guess those walks through the DC and shopping really help out! I have a friend I walk with everyday at work - I cannot tell you how much those help me each day....in so many ways.  Thanks Patty for walking with me, you're a great walking partner and I really enjoy our walks.. and our talks! :)

Only 8 more days!  Can you even believe it?

Pre- Admission Testing

Well, I made it through Pre-Admission Testing and got the final go ahead for the surgery!

What a long day! It started with, of course, taking care of financial matters! (you know, they wanted to get paid!)  Then I had to donate some urine, some blood, had to pose for chest xrays, had an ultrasound of my gall bladder then went to meet with nurses, doctors, nutrionists, etc.  It was every bit of a 5 hour appointment!!! 

The good news is I'm perfect! (hehehehe) - All my blood tests came back with perfect levels, woo hoo!  There was nothing I heard during the day that was a total surprise to me! (Ok, so I was surprised that I can never donate blood after the surgery)  Most of what I heard, I expected to hear or had read somewhere during my research.  It made me feel better about the amount of research that I've done.

So what happens now?  Starting immediately, I am on a restricted diet and many vitamin supplements. 

First - no more ibuprofen - EVER - starting now - only Tylenol products

Also - I have this lovely little breathing machine - if you've ever known anyone to have, say... heart surgery, you've seen this thing - its where you use your air to raise the ball.  I have to practice using this little thing 10x a day 20 reps each time !!! Everyday - until surgery - I guess this helps strengthen my lungs!

Next - The Vitamin Supplements - Starting now -

• Vitamin B-12
• Vitamin C
• Bugs Bunny Complete Sugar Free Chewable Vitamin
• Protein Supplement - atleast 2-3 / day
• Normal saline spray twice a day

Then - the Pre-operative Diet

• Two times daily - 8 oz skim milk w/ protein powder
• 3x daily (over the course of 15 min ea time) - 1/2 to 1 C of non fat cottage cheese, non-fat ricotta chesse or non-fat, sugar free yogurt OR 1-2 oz of water packed tuna or salmon, lean skinless chicken, tofu or skinless turkey.
• 1 cup non-starchy vegetables (raw, steamed, boiled or sauteed in 1-2 tp of olive oil)
• Fruit - 1 small serving of fresh fruit or 1/2 cup frozen fruit
• Condiments: 1-2 T mustard, relish, ketchup, salsa, light mayo, or light salad dressing

Thats it - thats what I get to eat between now and December 1st.

December 1st I start an all liquid diet and then at noon on December 3rd - nothing but clear liquids until 1 week after surgery!

I made it through Tuesday :)

OK - so the day isn't officially over yet, but I think I made it through the rough part.  Today was Dakota's appointment at Children's Hospital Bone Clinic.  We didn't get alot of answers regarding his Osteoporosis, other than we had it confirmed that he definitely has it.  They want to do some more tests to perhaps get to the reason WHY he has it.  We also learned that the treatment for this in children is a little different than it is for post-menopausal women.  The treatment for children is an IV medication called Pamidronate.  It is given 3 days in a row as a 4 hour IV infusion each day.  The first series is done in the hospital and does require a 2 night hospital stay.  If infusion is well tolerated, the subsequent 3 day infusions can be done in an outpatient setting.  He will have to go through this 4 times a year for at least 2 years or until his bone density levels return to a normal level.

Doesn't sound real fun, does it?  We didn't think so either.

The good news is - its treatable and maybe he'll quit breaking bones so much!

So - on the weight loss front - I had an excellent conversation today with a friend of a friend who had this surgery 3 or 4 years ago.  My son, Anthony actually connected us! (Thanks Anth!)  We talked for about an hour and she told me all the ups and downs she went through before, during and after the procedure.  I have never felt better about this surgery than I did after talking to her.  She was about my same size when she had the surgery and got down to a size 6!!!! She is currently about an 8-10, which if you read my FAQs you know its my goal to be about a size 10! I'm so excited.  I wish I was having the surgery tomorrow rather than 2 weeks from TODAY! - OMG - Surgery is only 2 weeks away! :)

Bring on Pre-Admission Testing tomorrow!

STRESSED!

So - they said this would happen! Surgery is 2 weeks from tomorrow and I'm starting to feel a little stressed.  Some might even say I'm freakin out!  I think I have good reason to, I just don't like how its making me feel.  I'm not just stressed about the surgery - although thats huge.

Tomorrow, I'm taking my son, Dakota to Children's Hospital Bone Clinic for consultation and evaluation.  My poor, 11 year old son has been diagnosed with Osteoporosis and we are now on the path to find out what is causing this.  If you don't know anything about Osteoporosis it is most commonly found in post menopausal women, not in young boys!  To learn more - here is a link to the Wikipedia entry-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osteoporosis   

Then on Wednesday, I go for my Pre-Admission Testing for 4-5 hours. I have been told I might be put on a restrictive diet starting on Wednesday until the day of my surgery.  I'm not sure what that involves, but I guess I'll find out! Thank God my sister-in-law, Dee has agreed to go with me! I can only imagine the amount of information that they will dump on me, there is no way I'll remember it all, so I'm taking her for backup!  She is also taking me on the 4th for my surgery!  Thanks Dee! Love you!

Thursday- Thanksgiving - while I have many many things to be thankful for, and I am thankful for them!  I am sort of dreading Thursday.  No matter how hard I try NOT to think about, Thursday is November 22nd.  November 22nd, 2003 was quite possibly the worst day of my life, that was the day I lost my father.  So, I plan to stop by the cemetery with some flowers, have a little chat with my dad, and go home and watch some football, maybe even try to relax on Thursday.  I'm sure there will be a tearful breakdown at some point during the day, and thats OK, I've earned it.

Friday - Hopefully will be a good day - I was told today that I MIGHT finally get my car back from the body shop - I'm not holding my breath but I'm hopeful. 

If I can just make it through this week, I think I'll have it made!  WISH ME LUCK :)

Now's the time... I need your help :)

Well I have my PATs (Pre-Admission Testing) appointment on Wednesday.  They say the appointment will last 4-5 hours.  Based on everything I know about, I will be meeting with the surgeon, having some blood work done, possbily some chest/ stomach xrays, meeting with a nutrionist/ dietician and a counselor.  It is the last time I'll be meeting with the surgeon (or any of these people actually) prior to surgery. 

In my experience, when someone I care about is going through some type of medical condition/ procedure, I come up with a ton of questions that they werent able to come up with on their own.  Thats where you come in... I need to know what questions you think I should be asking.  What questions do you have that I havent answered already or that you think I need more information on?  What would you ask if it was you?  I obviously have my own list of questions, although I'm sure I"m missing something. 

Just click on Comments below and submit your questions.... OR..if you dont want your comments made public - email me through the "EMAIL ME" link to the right.

Things I'm going to miss.....

What a bummer of a day! :(  Ohio State just got beat and knocked out of the #1 spot in the country and lost hopes of a National Championship game this year.  Its been a great year so far and we've done much better than anyone expected us to, so I"m thankful for that!  Michigan is next week, I'm hoping this loss will motivate us to play harder than ever against the team up North.  I guess this cancels any hopes of some of us making a road trip to New Orleans for a weekend of tailgating.  WHOA! Wait a minute, did you just read that right? A weekend of tailgating???? Are you asking yourself if I"m going to be able to "tailgate" (i.e. drink) after this surgery? 

The real answer is no... no I wont be drinking after the surgery, alcohol and I are parting ways... Seems unreal, doesn't it?  Some people have gone back to drinking a glass of wine here or there, some are full fledge drinkers again after the surgery, but I"m making a clean break... Will I miss it? SURE! I"ll miss it... but this is worth it!

I have some friends I go out with usually once a week or so and we had a conversation this week about "What I'm going to miss"... They asked me, what do you think you'll miss the most??? I've sort of been thinking about that since then... Here's what I came up with...In no particular order....

I will miss drinking with my friends, but I wont miss my friends, just because I wont be drinking doesn't mean I wont be going out..... :)

I'll miss Chinese Food - No way around it - its bad for me and I know it - but I love it - its gotta go :(

Pasta - pretty much any kind of pasta - I'll miss it, I love it - its been my favorite food since I was old enough to have a favorite - Dakota and I will be eating some pasta over the next 3 weeks - you know... one last taste :)

Tim Horton's in the morning - my sesame bagel and French Vanilla Cappuccino - heck they might even miss me!

Big Juicy Steak !! - I"m definitely going to have a big juicy steak before this surgery - not to say I eat steak all the time.  Not even saying I will never eat steak again, however, it will be months before I can... many many months - and even then - it wont be a whole steak, it will be a small part of one.

Ice Cream - I don't even eat a lot of ice cream - but I do like it when I eat it - I"m not really sure I'll MISS it - but every once in a while - during the middle of the summer when its 90'  with 100% humidity - a bowl of ice cream just hits the spot.

I've had sort of a hard time identifying things I"ll miss. . I think I'm really ready to give up everything and anything I need to in order for this to be a success.  (This is a good thing for those worried about my mental health)

***Edited note*** I CANNOT believe I left PIZZA off the list!  I will definitely miss Pizza - I actually posted this blog without Pizza on the list... Had to pull it back and add it on. 

If you were having this surgery - what do you think you'd miss the most?  Leave me a comment, let me know :)