Tracy Talks

WHAT A RUSH!

I am in such a good mood tonight absolutely NOTHING could bring me down!  I think I could type a mile a minute and tell you every detail of why I'm in such a good mood and you still wouldn't fully understand  I wont give you ALL the details but I will fill you in!  This is such an incredible day, and an incredible feeling I never could have imagined this.

So, as usual, I was underutilized at work today and in my free time I was thinking of things I could do tonight as Dakota was going to be at his father's house and well, Wednesday nights are usually my drinking nights - especially in the summer, so I had to think of a new "thing to do".  I had a ton of energy and needed a release, so I announced to my friend, Suzie, on the way out of the office that I thought I would go jogging tonight! JOGGING! Yes you read that right... I wanted to go jogging!  Can I just preface this by saying that NEVER in my life - my fat life or my previously thin life - NEVER  have I WANTED to go jogging!  TODAY, I wanted to... so guess what????????????   I DID IT!  I freakin went jogging!  For the first time in my life I took a leisurely jog around the neighborhood.  OK - let me try that again... I walked, I walked faster and I led into a jog, I jogged for a little bit, ran into a neighbor I knew who stopped me to talk, I walked fast again, led back into the jog, walked some more, jogged some more - it wasn't a full fledged run around the neighborhood but there were spurts of joggin in there and THAT COUNTS DAMNIT!  It was so absolutely incredibly exhilarating I cannot even tell you! I cant wait to do it again tomorrow!  I cant decide if the serious rush I got from this is because I've never done it before or if jogging just gets your adrenaline going so much that you really just feel this good after doing it.  Either way - I'll take it - I cant remember feeling like this before.  WHAT A RUSH! I can't believe I did it - I really went joggingg!

If that weren't enough - Anthony called tonight and he got accepted to Ohio State for Fall quarter!  OMG - I'm sooooooooo proud of him.  He has worked really hard to get to this place in his life and it hasn't always been easy for him.  I give him a lot of credit because it wasn't so long ago that his life was a little upside down.  He has really  made a full turnaround and is really working hard to make the most of himself.  He is an amazing kid and I am gushing with pride !!!  Now, I just need one of those cool OSU MOM shirts!  LOL :)

I must of had a sweet tooth!

After work yesterday I had to go to the store and pick up a few things and while I was there I, of course, got a few items that were not on my list.  As I look in my cupboards and my fridge today, I have to say - I must have had a sweet tooth last night when I went to the store!  Which is very weird for me, I've never been a sweet tooth person... give me salt and call me happy, chocolate - I could definitely live without, ice cream or fruit are usually as sweet as I go. We aren't much for desserts here.  Not a candy fan, so for me to come home and have a cupboard full of sweets is weird! 

As I look in the cupboard / fridge today here is what I see...

SF Angel Food Cake

SF Cool Whip (2 containers!)

No Sugar Added Ice Cream Sandwiches

SF Blueberry Muffins

SF Pudding (2 - 6 packs)

Strawberries

Bananas

OH YEAH AND I bought Reduced Sugar cake mix and icing and Dakota made cupcakes last night! 

Now the good news is - its all SF or low sugar, the bad news is - I havent had a bite of any of it yet! (is that bad news? I cant decide... maybe its good news, I dont know!)

Dakota tried the cupcakes and said they were awesome!  I guess I'll have to try one of those tonight! :)

If you have a sweet tooth and you're in the area - I've got what you need !!!!

Now, it's personal.....

Today I went for my 6 month follow up appointment. I know, I know, I will be 7 months post op on Friday, but this was when my appt was scheduled, so I'll take it when I can get it. 

First of all, as I mentioned in a previous post I had planned to meet my Barix buddy, Jenni at my appointment - and I did and it was soooooo great to finally meet her! I could have sat and talked with her for hours.  (Well we sort of did after our appointment, along with our other buddy, Daphney!)  Its so nice to connect with people who understand what you're going through.  Jenni had her surgery just 1 week after I did and she LOOKS FABULOUS!  Daphney had her surgery on my birthday (3/11) and she is also making AMAZING PROGRESS! 

So, I met with a student nurse who took my vitals. My BP was as low as its every been.... 109/69 (WOW!) 

I met with the nutritionist and with Dr Ramos.  Last week I had my blood drawn, so I got the results of my blood work today. I have to be honest I was half afraid to find out what they said because once again, I've sort of slacked off in the vitamin taking department.  Good news - All my labs came back perfect!  So there ya have it... I"M PERFECT... (just in case you forgot!).... LOL...

Actually I had a good chat with Dr Ramos who told me I was doing phenomenal and that I had already surpassed his expectations of my success with this surgery and that anything I lost from here on out was for my own personal success ! (as if it hasnt always been personal)   WOW That was a shock to me.  When he asked me what my personal weight goal was and I told him, he darn near tried to talk me out of it.  He was afraid I would be TOO thin if I lost another 30 lbs.  He told me to be careful not to lose too much and suggested I really not go below 140.  (I gotta tell you I never thought I'd have a Dr telling me to be careful not to lose too much weight!)... Now, thats a problem, I don't think I'll EVER have!!!  Overall he was absolutely ecstatic with how I was doing and said I should come back and visit him in December at my one year anniversary. (do you call it an anniversary? I don't know)...

So Now, Its personal and I AM going to lose 30 more lbs and I REALLY want to do it before I go back in December! 

(I posted the pictures from the Reds game today!)

Here's a WOW moment for you....

OMG - Even Dakota said this was a WOW moment - as much for him as it was for me.  Tomorrow we are heading to Cleveland with Mr Mike, Anthony & Katie to see the Reds and Indians play.  Our family (if you don't know already) is full of die-hard Reds fans.  My Dad used to be the BIGGEST Reds fan alive... I had never seen anything quite like it, but I'm pretty sure he has been reincarnated in my son, Anthony.  He doesnt miss a game if he can avoid it.  He'll watch the game on TV all the way through the last out of the 9th inning even if we're getting clobbered!  He knows all the stats and all the players and whats going on with who.  My Dad would be really proud of him! (Well Mike & I are proud of him too, but Dad would have gotten such a kick out of the Reds fan he has turned into!)

Anyways, I'm doing some laundry this afternoon and making sure Dakota's Reds Jersey isnt wadded up in a crumpled mess and I held it up and looked at and said "I think this would fit me".... I proceeded to try it on - IT DID!!!! HOLY GUACAMOLE - I fit into my 12 year old's SHIRT!!!! While he was excited for me, he kept telling to take it off and pretty much to shut up because he thought that it was weird I could wear his shirts.  Dakota's not a small kid, infact he is only about an inch shorter than me (I think he grew 2 inches while he was at his Dads this past week).  So, he weighs 113 lbs and is about 5'6" tall and I CAN WEAR HIS SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!  WOW!

One of those days!

Boy oh boy - I have definitely had one of those days today! You know the kind where nothing anyone says could make it better.  Whenever a certain someone (anyone) talks its like nails on a chalkboard, when you feel like everyone hates you for one reason or the other, when  you feel insignifant and unimportant.  When nothing goes the way you want it to.  When it feels like everyone and their brother is putting road blocks in your way just to see if you can find your way around them. Thats the way I have felt all day.  Grumpy, insignificant, irritated, unimportant and just plain frustrated as hell! Not even about anything weight loss related... I'm happy as all get out with my weight loss, but I have to tell you I had "one of those days" today, the kind that in my previous life I would have called my drinking buddies (yes, I have drinking buddies) and we would have gone to the bar and pretty much bellied up to the bar and drank til I forgot why I was there!  OK maybe not that much... but I would have thrown back a few, just to take the edge off!  (btw, thats just not off the table yet tonight... it could still happen!)

I'm grouchy and tired and just need to be alone... I had plans for tonight that ended up not happening, I think its probably for the better, since I'm in such a pissy mood today!  I sure hope tomorrow is a better day!  I think it will be - Dakota comes home tomorrow after being away for 10 days!!!!

OMG - The freaking dog just threw up!  See - its been one of those days - I'm telling you!

Finally....

Well I finally broke my plateau! I knew the exercise was the key!  I have officially lost FOUR pounds since Sunday.  That leaves a WHOPPING 6 pounds to lose between now and July 11th so I can meet my goal of losing 100 lbs before I go to Nashville with Amie!  OMG - I am SIX pounds away from losing 100 lbs!!!  Thats so exciting I could just cry!  All of you whose phone #s I have, WATCH OUT!  You will all be getting early morning phone calls when that scale finally shows me the magic numbers!  I will be the raving crying lunatic on the other end of the phone going absolutely spastic!  (God, if I'm gonna be that spastic when I hit 100lbs lost wonder what the heck will happen when I hit goal???????).... HOLY CRAP!! I just realized... Only 20 more pounds til I hit goal!  OK - my friends... how many of you have 20 lbs to lose?  Lets lose them together. 

Write me, tell me what you are doing to lose that 20 lbs.. what exercises are you doing, what are you eating, are you keeping a food & exercise journal? Whats your short term motivation? What will be your long term motivation to keep it off? C'mon lets do this together - we can support each other!

OH! I posted new pics in the After folder today. Pretty damned excited, I'm wearing a size 10 skirt from Ann Taylor Loft... holy shit, I shopped at Ann Taylor Loft??? I never even walked in there before the day I bought that skirt... WOW! Very exciting stuff here!

Thank God thats over!

I'm happy to report that I am feeling much better today.  My stomach was still pretty grumbly this morning, but after about 9am I was feeling pretty much back to normal.  I didn't eat a whole lot today, partly because I was afraid to and partly because my routine was disrupted.  I usually will make a protein shake for breakfast and sip on it on my way to work.  Today, I had to fast because I had my blood drawn this morning.  I am going for my 6 month post surgery appointment next Monday and they have to test my blood for about 15 different things to make sure I'm not deficient in anything. 

Not that I ever thought I'd say this, but I'm actually LOOKING FORWARD to my appointment next week.  For a couple reasons actually.... First and foremost - I get to meet one of my "on-line" friends, Jenni.  She lives, I think about 2 hours away and we scheduled our appointments one right after the other so we could finally meet.  We had our surgeries within 2 weeks of each other and really connected right away.  I'm so looking forward to meeting her and really just having a gab fest! :)  Additionally, I am hoping Dr Ramos is pleased with my progress.  I THINK (and I hate to say this because I don't want to jinx it) but I THINK I broke through my plateau these last couple days.  I really made my mind up that I was going to do whatever it took to break the plateau I've been on and meet my goal of losing 100 lbs by July 11th.  Well this morning, I was down 2 lbs... lets hope it really was 2 lbs and not just a result of the miserable night I had! 

Sick as a dog... errrr I mean Sick as THE dog... you choose

So, what I haven't mentioned these last few days is that my poor obnoxious 75 lb dog has been really sick all weekend.  I wont go into the gory details but suffice it to say that his stomach is NOT happy.  I have cleaned out the cage about 6 times in 3 days and when it isnt coming out one end - its coming out the other!  I called the Vet and they told me to give him Imodium and to boil him some Chicken and Rice.  GOD I hope that works!  I always joke around with Dakota (about 1/2 serious sometimes, because I promise you this dog is obnoxious and not always lovable)... but I joke with him if he doesnt take care of his dog I'm going to open the door and just let him run.  I would never really do that because as obnoxious as the dog is I have grown to love the big lug and I'd sure miss having him around (most days!).  hehehe... please don't take that all wrong. I'm not a dog hater, I love my dog, he is just a little large and overbearing for this small space we call home and he drives me crazy barking at every little thing.  Including growling and barking if someone is hugging me!  (its bad, I promise!)....

As if it weren't enough that the dog was sick, I also had an absolutely hellacious day at work and then tonight I came home and had a protein bar before I went on a walk over at Blendon Woods.  I ate the same kind of protein bar I always eat, but about 1/2 way through my walk, my stomach started cramping up and I knew it was gonna be bad.  I seriously stepped up the pace and got home as quick as I could.  Once I was here, I think I had my first ever episode of dumping!  Cold sweats, nausea and basically couldn't get off the toilet all night.  My stomach was making noises so loud I'm pretty sure the neighbors could hear!  Each time I thought I was feeling better, about 1/2 hour later BAM! I had to run to the bathroom!  UGH! I can't imagine this protein bar would have such a negative effect on me.  Its the same kind I eat all the time!  So between me running to the bathroom and running the dog outside so he doesn't ruin the lovely carpet here at the castle I call home, it's been a fabulous night.  I can hardly wait tl morning!  Tomorrow has to be better, right?

My longest plateau yet....

You may have noticed that I haven't been giving weight loss updates too regularly anymore.  That's because I have hit my longest plateau yet since I had my surgery!  It has been 3 weeks since I lost a single pound!  Infact I have been gaining and losing the same 2 lbs for this entire 3 weeks.  Its one of those things that, if you let it, could really make a person wonder why they went through this surgery in the first place if they were still going to have these battles.  So, this is when the psychological battle begins... (OK - it began a long time ago, but this is when I have to kick it up a notch!) - I have to remind myself that I didn't have this surgery because I wanted things to be easy on me or that I didn't want to have to WORK for this.  I had this surgery to improve my health and well being, to prolong my life and live a happy active lifestyle with my kids and my grandkids (ONE DAY, not now,.... but one day with my grandkids!)... .I did this so I wouldnt have to sleep with that stupid CPAP machine anymore!  I did this because I was so incredibly unhappy with my former fat self that even I didn't know how miserable I was!  I was tired of the dieting yo- yo rollercoaster game and I wanted a permanent solution.  I know this isn't a solution , its a tool and its only permanent if I take proper precautions and use the tool properly over my lifetime... so I will. 

Here are some really cool things that have happened to me during this stupid plateau of mine.....

The size 10 skort I wore on Friday was really lose and I think I could fit into a size 8 in that particular one!  I also have sort of been stuck in a size 12 for about 6 weeks now... which really isnt a bad thing... it saves me money in buying new clothes, but I started noticing my size 12 capris were starting to get loose last week.  Today I wore a pair of shorts (size 12) for the 2nd time ever, (I first wore them to my niece's graduation party 2 weeks ago).... today I was able to just pull them down without unfastening them.  OH yeah, and the XL shirt that goes with those adorable, now too big shorts, is also too big now.  This, my friends, is the power of exercise at work! 

Today, I decided I am not going one more week without losing another pound so I really stepped up the exercise.  I woke up this morning and did a full, extra long workout.  I had sort of been neglecting my leg workouts for a couple weeks, but did those and did extra reps of them too, did my upper body workout, then went on a 2 mile hike later in the day I went for a 1/2 hour bike ride.  NOW... my legs are jello and pretty much are screaming at me! I guess I wont neglect them anymore! 

The Wedding

Today was the wedding I've been referring to.  You know the one I had to buy a new dress for, it was today.  My friends Dominic & Rekah got married in a traditional Hindu ceremony.  It was the most unique wedding I've ever been to.  I really wanted to blog all about it but I realized if I did I might possibly offend some of you who may be Hindu.  I really know nothing about Hinduism and don't know the proper terminology to use to describe some of the things in regards to the wedding.  Here is what I can tell you. It was exquisite, from the decorative staging / cermonial area, to the statue of Krishna, the gorgeous saris the women were wearing, it was absolutley beautiful.  It was completely different than any wedding I had ever been to before in so many ways.  For example, the ceremony just sort of started, there was nothing indicating it was starting and people didn't stop talking or milling around the room when it started, it started with just the Priest and the Groom sitting on platform performing a ritual of sorts, they served refreshments during the ceremony, people were up and down from their seats throughout the entire thing, walking up to the front and taking pictures the whole time, chatting and catching up with eachother and OH! Dominic & Rekah just happened to be getting married at the same time!  When Rekah joined Dominic on the platform, they performed many cermonies with water, fire, coconut milk, fruit and money to name a few.  They also performed a toe ring ceremony where Dom placed a toe ring on one toe of each of Rekah's feet and then they walked barefoot on this mat stopping at each stone type thing and saying what was presumably a prayer of sorts. 

Oh see, there I go, I tried to explain it and had no idea how to describe it.... I took a bunch of photos and will post them so you can see what I'm talking about. 

After the ceremony we were invited to their home for a traditional vegetarian lunch which was prepared by their mothers.  I have never been much on Indian Cuisine and don't like a lot of spice on my food.  Some is OK but not so much that I can't breath, please.  Anyways not knowing what each dish was or what kind of sauce things were in made eating lunch a little challenging.  I managed to get by and the only thing I can even tell you for sure that I ate was green beans.  I hope that doesn't sound disrespectful, as the food was delicious, I just didn't know what it was.  I did try just a bite of this orange ball looking thing that I later found out was some sort of ChickPea flour deep fried and then dipped in sugar glaze.  My friends were referring to it as "crack" because it was so addicting, I just had to try it.  Good thing I have this new tool called gastric bypass cuz I'm pretty sure I would have eaten a plate full of these things.  Instead I had such a small taste that it was just enough to satisfy my curiousity but not enough to make me sick. 

After lunch we returned home for a couple hours and then went back for h'ors doeuvres, dinner & reception.  Again, the h'ors doeuvres, I was unsure what was being served, I could tell there were potato cakes of some sort served with ChickPeas in a red sauce and then they had all kinds of toppings to go over it, I decided to take a pass on that particular choice, but the others said it was really good.  I did try something I thought looked like it might be chicken, turns out it wasn't .  I still really have no idea at all what it was, but it was good.  Dinner was served and it was a buffett line of one Indian dish right after the other and none of them were marked so we knew what they were, whether they were spicy or sweet or anything.  It certainly made it challenging for a person like me to choose what to put on my plate!  I put basically a piece of most of the dishes on my plate, then I let the people I was with try each one off their own plate and tell me if it was sweet or spicy and I just went with what they said and just tried a little bit of most of it.  I really liked the chicken dish that had some sort of orange sauce on it. None of the poeple at my table knew what was what so when they were telling me what food to eat, they would say "try the chicken, the orange stuff, or don't eat the red stuff its too sweet"... we were quite the group not having a clue what we were doing!  The good news is I tried everything I wanted to, I was plenty full and I didnt get even a little bit sick!  YAY!!!!

OH! and as promised, here is a picture of me in my new dress.

CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN, DOMINIC & REKAH!!!